Nobody Wants To Be Lonely

How lonely and/or sad do you 

need to be to use this?

Let me tell you ...

     Not lonely or sad at all ... I think this is the guy's equivalent to the girl's fake engagement ring or the equivalent to the pretend phone call in public for avoidance purposes. I can think of a slew of situations where this piece of genius can be put to good use ...

1) You're out and about, trying to have a good 'ole time with the guys or whatever ... and a girl comes along that you are just not feeling ... 

BUT being the gentleman that I know you are, you don't want to hurt her feelings soooo what do you do? ... You pull out your handy-dandy cell phone, text "Rebecca," and tell the poor girl you're talking to, that your girlfriend Rebecca would not appreciate you hanging all night with her. This saves you both a lot of time.

2) You are walking along and all of a sudden, in the distance, you see that jerk from high school - that one person who you swore you would never cross paths with again after graduation day ... But there's nowhere to go ... No time to do this and hide ...

So, get the phone out ... send that initial text message ... and then when you bump into that jerk and you need to have that awkward encounter, at least it's cut short by "Tina" who will call you and tell you that you immediately need to come meet her at the mall because she needs help picking out a dress for the wedding you guys are attending next weekend. Oh yeahhhhh. It's that serious. Time to go.

3) And, it can even be used for it's actual purpose ... but not because you're sad and lonely ... because you have annoying and meddling relatives who are always, "When are you going to settle down with a nice [fill in with appropriate meddling adjective here] girl? We'll die before we have grand kids [or nieces/nephews/god-children]."

Now you can just text and call your air hostess girlfriend "Megha" whenever you need to get your parents out of your hair ... When they want to meet her, she's in flight, DUH.

     And there you go ... Just some of the reasons why this service was a stroke of genius on someones part ... 

     And, yes, I am sure there are some guys out there who are just lonely and are like, "I want a fake girlfriend to send me messages all day long and I'll call her and message her and ... blah blah blah" but then those end up being the guys who come out and make all girls want to wear fake engagement rings to every restaurant and party they attend ... Or the ones who end up being the inspiration for episodes of "Criminal Minds" or "Strange Addiction."

     But besides those guys ... I give this idea a thumbs up because it can be used to get you out of many awkward encounters and strained conversations ... so use it to your advantage.

Ohhh, I wish you could meet my girlfriend, my girlfriend who lives in Canada. She couldn't be sweeter. I wish you could meet her - my girlfriend who lives in Canada. Her name is Alberta. She lives in Vancouver. She cooks like my mother, and sucks like a Hoover. I email her every single day just to make sure that every thing's okay. It's a pity she lives so far away - in Canada! (My Girlfriend Who Lives In Canada, Avenue Q Soundtrack)