Step 1: Get Accused of Murder, Step 2: Write A Trashy Memoir

     I have read some really horrible books in my day ... and seen some even worse (auto)biographies/memoirs ... Sometimes I walk through bookstores and see books like this ...

Or this ... 

Or worse, this ...

OK, so I own the Miley one but that's besides the point ... But you get my drift ...

     There are a crazy amount of horrible books out there and our bookstores and bookshelves are definitely not in need of more ... But if I needed to pick one person right now who did need to write a memoir or who did deserve a book deal, it would be this girl right here ...

     Yep, Miss Amanda Knox. Not because she spent 4 years in jail or because she allegedly killed her roommate but because she is definitely going to need the money now that she's home ... Because let's consider the facts ...

1) She's unemployable ... I mean despite the fact that it's illegal to not hire her ... Who would?

2) I highly doubt any college is going to accept her considering her shady past so she isn't going to get a higher education ... well, maybe an online degree ... But not one on any college campus.

and ...

3) Don't nobody want to ever share an apartment with this bitch ever again so she's paying rent on her own for the rest of time ... I mean what would her ad say?

Twenty-Something Female Seeks Roommate

Enjoys traveling and creative writing

Has spent some time studying abroad in Italy

Studied the Criminal Justice System, as well as the Judicial System

Please call my cell if interested,

Depending on the date it's either a cell phone

Or a jail cell.

TBD

     See what I mean? She's going to need a book deal to help pay her way through life ... So I just think someone should throw this girl a bone and give her one ... And, honestly, I don't even think her memoir would be that bad. I think it would be kind of interesting. (Do they have double jeopardy laws in Italy? What if she just decides to go all out and be like, "YEP. I did it. I killed her" in the book. That would be nuts.) Publishers take note, you read it here first. Give her a book deal. It'll be worth it.

If you really like it, you can have the rights. It could make a million for you overnight. If you must return it, you can send it here but I need a break and I want to be a paperback writer. (Paperback Writer, The Beatles)