The Wisdom of a Seven-Year-Old ...

Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if we all had the innocence of children. Think about it for a minute ...

I know what you're thinking. I mean sure, we'd need to live without those PG-13 and R rated movies. And those popular rap songs? ... You could kiss them good-bye.

But, on the flip side, don't you think we'd all just get along?

Yesterday my mother went to one of my Uncle's places in Brooklyn.  My little cousins were visiting also and weren't very familiar with the area. The area that my Uncle lives in is an area with a large population of Hasidic Jews. It was a little earlier in the day and people must have been out and about when my cousins first got there, and the younger one, who is seven, must have just been people watching and taking mental notes (and pictures) the whole time. When my mom got upstairs to my Uncle's place and after she did the customary hi, hellos, she went to see my little cousins and the seven-year-old blurts out to my mother ...

"There are a whole lotta people here who look like Abraham Lincoln!"

       

Clearly he has not learned the major religions yet or how you can differentiate between people by their religious garb, in some cases ... He misinterpreted some fundamental aspects of Judaism ... But couldn't that innocence be a good thing? Him not knowing those differentiations ... Isn't that him not knowing the seeds of hatred? How many wars have been started over Religion? How much blood has been shed in the name of God?

Yes. Some days it would be better if we were all as innocent as children. Imagine it.

Forgive Me, Apple, For I Have Sinned.

If you ask me, people have it too easy today. I came home a few days ago to a flyer shoved on the side of my mailbox that read in giant letters something along the lines of:

Don't have time to go grocery shopping?! Work all day!? 

     Or JUST DON'T LIKE THOSE LINES?

Well, you don't have to worry anymore!

Call me, Linda, and I will be you're personal grocery shopper!

    (and errand-runner!)

Call me at 555-555-5555.

Seriously, have we just gotten so lazy that we can't even handle grocery shopping anymore! We need someone to do it for us?

Well, clearly our grocery lists are not the only things that are getting too complicated in our crazy world. Apparently keeping track of our sins is a little too complicated too ...

A new iPhone app has been released called "Confession: A Roman Catholic App." The app lists the 10 Commandments as a reference but then you can customize it for yourself using your age, sex, and profession to personalize possible sins not already listed.

I don't know about you but I would rather not pull out my iPhone (not that I have one) every time I "lied to my boss" (see video) or lost my temper or stiffed Linda a few cents change on the grocery money ... But that's just me. That's just too easy. Life's a test. That's the way God intended it. 

OH, and on top of that, if you did need this app to remember your sins, why would you need the 10 commandments listed there anyway? Those are some PRETTY big ones. Don't you think? I would think you would remember by Sunday if you coveted your neighbor's wife on Thursday ... Or committed adultery on Tuesday. Just a thought.

PS. You ever notice that all phone numbers in movies and on TV start with 555? ... Why is that?

I'll be Creepin' You Tonight!

Sooooo ... You know that dude or chick you creep on at all hours of the night (Admit it, you do it) ... You know the one I mean.

The one whose  profile pics you're checking - comparing yourself to their current flame ... Saying "I'm mos def hotter than her/him!" The one whose relationship status you'reconsistently eyeing. The one you're not even friends with who might not have gotten the memo to privatize their page enough for you to read every wall post back to 2005 to check if they are still seeing their high school beau ... Yeah, that one.

Well, some 24-year old Creep has now made it really simple for you to get updated on that hottie. Introducing the Facebook "Breakup Notifier." OH YEAHHHHH. You read that right. You set it up so that when Mr. or Miss Right goes from "In a Relationship" (be it real or fake) to "Single" (be it fo' rizzle or for the night) ... You get a notification.

Read the story (and see a seemingly unrelated video on "retrosexuals") here.

PS. Now I'm going to go do some retrosexing of my own. I suggest you go and get on it too. There's some lonely kid from the graduating class of 2005 who sat at the reject table who has blossomed into a gorgeous Hunka-Hunka-Burning-Love just waiting for a message from you.