Little Lessons We Owe To Walt Disney & His Giant EMPIRE

     As a female who grew up on Disney movies I can, without a doubt, tell you that there are little life lessons to be learned from each and every one of those storybook endings that occasionally filled my head with rainbows and butterflies and ice cream sundaes and all things good and fluffy ... And you may be thinking that these life lessons are all about love and romance and dancing under the stars and living happily ever after ... and that they only apply to girls under the age of 10 who are playing dress up in their bedrooms ... But you are incorrect, my friend! These lessons that I am about to drop like bombs can apply to everyone and anyone, so sit back and enjoy what I've learned from Walt Disney and his beloved characters (or at least from the ones in the original Disney Princess Collection movies ... because that's how I do).

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)

      Lesson learned: You can be one of the prettiest, hottest, most powerful people in all the land ... But if you have an ugly heart and evil intentions, God will smite you and you will fall to your death and creepy vultures will come after your rotting dead body (seriously, Disney, this was freaking creepy!).
     Seriously though, in life, the way in which we treat each other, despite our so-called differences, is really all that matters. Being a kindhearted person, speaking well of each other, being generous and giving - those are the things that really matter. Not money and power and outward appearance. If those are the things you are chasing in life, take a moment to reevaluate why they seem so important to you (and then re-watch the ending scene of Snow White).

Cinderella (1950)

     Anyone who knows me knows that Cinderella is my all-time favorite Disney movie and I can't even bring myself to make jokes about the lessons you learn when you watch this movie and actually take in all the different aspects and begin to analyze all the different layers that make up the story-line ... That's why so many different movies and books and shows mimic Cinderella, in general ... so, getting off my soapbox, here are just a few of the lessons you learn from this amazinggggg movie.

     First and foremost, Cinderella teaches us to never, ever give up on dreams and to never give up believing. If Cinderella gave up believing, her Fairy Godmother straight up told her she would not have been able to come ... and then she wouldn't have gone to the ball or met the Prince and then the whole story would have been a cluster-fuck. So really, just don't stop believing. 

     So, on top of that pretty obvious lesson, we also see that you can't choose your family ... but despite that there will always be those people (or small animals) that will be around for you when you need help or a smile ... or a dress to be sown. Cinderella also shows us that keeping a good attitude is an excellent way to get through the tough times - even when she was scrubbing floors and doing laundry, she always had a song to sing and a helping hand to lend to her mouse friends.

     (In addition to all those lessons ... I learned that some women are more than willing to force their feet into uncomfortably small shoes for a rich man. But, on the other hand, the right pair of shoes can absolutely change your life for the better. Also, the outcome of your night, after midnight, totally depends on the circumstances you are in at the time).

Sleeping Beauty (1959)

     Listen here, the one lesson I learned from Sleeping Beauty is that if you try and protect someone from something too much ... you may just push that person right to it ... So then he/she will end up pricking a finger on a spindle, spellbound, and pretty much stuck like that until they're kissed by a random stranger who they end up marrying because they've been told it's true love's kiss.
     I'm not saying that as a society we should let people run wild with no rules or regulations ... I'm just saying that maybe loosening the reins on certain things would actually lead people away from said things, you know, making them less attractive or whatnot.

The Little Mermaid (1989)

     I must have seen this movie close to a hundred times growing up because it was my sister's favorite ... and absolutely not mine! I always thought King Triton was a bit of a bully, especially when he broke all of Ariel's prized possessions in that one scene when he finds out about Eric. Overprotective, much?! ... But it doesn't matter because the real lesson learned from The Little Mermaid actually has nothing to do with overbearing fathers but more with expressing your feelings. 

     Freakin' Prince Eric! I mean what was wrong with him in the movie? He clearly had a thing for Ariel. I know the girl gave up her voice for legs and wasn't able to verbalize her feelings to him, but she was sending all the right signals, and dude did nothing. Sebastian and his whole underwater team of musicians even sang a song while they were romantically out on the water ... and this guy still failed to kiss the girl (and don't blame it on Flotsam and Jetsam) --- Eric needed to grow a pair! He had plenty of chances.

     OK, so it's Disney ... We know they'll probably end up together in the end ... But in real life, the lesson is ... DO SOMETHING if you're even slightly interested in someone. Don't let the person who may or may not be the love of your life (or the love of your next few months) end up being the one who gets away because you think there may be something better out there (ummm, hello Prince Eric, Vanessa was Ursula in disguise) or because you're scared of getting hurt. This is life, people. It's not a Disney movie. Kiss the girl (or guy)! Put yourselves out there.

Beauty and the Beast (1991)

     If Belle could tell the world anything it would be this: read more and don't settle in life and love.

     While Cinderella has always been my favorite Disney movie, I'd have to say that as I've gotten older Belle may possibly be climbing the ranks as my favorite princess, overall. I mean she always had her head in a book, which I can absolutely appreciate. Everyone should read more ... more news, more novels, more comic strips. It doesn't even matter. They just should ... it makes for more clever conversation.

     And when it comes to settling, no one offers a better lesson than Belle. That girl had the town hottie throwing himself at her, proposing left and right, and she went for the large, hairy underdog ... who ended up being the most gallant, sweetest Prince a girl could ask for ... She didn't settle and ended up finding true love. She also gave us a little life lesson about steering clear of falling for people simply by their outward appearances. Gaston, while being super fly according to the ladies in the neighborhood (who, now that I watch the movie as an adult, may have been French hookers), wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box and Belle knew that she wanted more out of life than what he could offer - more than the cabin and kids and dogs and whatnot.

     Belle teaches us that material things don't really matter in the end, and that looks aren't everything - that they fade over time. I mean, come on people, cosmetic surgery is expensive. You need to find someone who is a complete package - someone who is attractive to you (whatever that may mean) and who also stimulates your brain - someone you can talk to ... where the conversation doesn't get boring. It'll just make for a happier existence.

Aladdin (1992)

     I can't be positive if it was Aladdin or this one blond kid in my elementary school who was my first crush ever ... But either way, Aladdin and I go way, way back and he definitely taught me a thing or two about life. Jasmine did too, and the rest of the gang ... I mean, come on, this is one of my faves. I think I wanted to be Jasmine for the first half of my life. I think my sister still wants to be her.

     I'd say there are two very important lessons we can take from Aladdin. First and foremost, as the Beatles said, money can't buy you love (neither can Genie's magic). It might get you 75 golden camels, 53 peacocks, and a whole zoo of exotic-type mammals ... But, in the end, what matters is if you are kind and trusting and can show your significant other a whole new world (::wink wink:: ... see what I did there). I'm not saying that money is unimportant in this life; obviously, we need it to get by and live our lives ... But you don't need loads and loads of it to be happy.

     The second lesson Aladdin teaches us is that if you lie ... it will come back and sting you in the ass! Remember Genie as he buzzes around Aladdin's head and the fairly simple, "TELL HER THE TRUTHHHHH!" Yeah, Jasmine wasn't very appreciative of Prince Ali's lies ... She forgave him in the end ... but this is Disney, sometimes real life doesn't end up like that. Jasmine showed us that you shouldn't pretend to be someone you're not ... because you may just end up being accepted for who you actually are ... and that's the greatest love of all.

Pocahontas (1995)

     So, the lesson learned from this wonderful little flick is pretty simple right? ... Don't be held down by the white man!

     No, no, no. Just kidding! But the lessons were simple in this movie ... Pocahontas pretty much puts the lessons into song lyrics for us, so why don't I just cut right to the point.

     Lesson 1: You can't step in the same river twice; the water's always changing, always flowing ... So, be like Pocahontas and make sure you give yourself a chance to see what's around the river bend, and don't settle for a Kocoum when a John Smith may just ask you to come to England with him ... But, also, be strong enough to say no when you have bigger plans for yourself.

     Lesson 2: Walk the footsteps of a stranger to learn things you never knew you never knew. As a culture, so many of us have become so self-involved that we fail to open our eyes to all the richness that surrounds us. We, meaning Americans, are blessed to be surrounded by different ethnicities, and cultures, and religions, and ways of life, yet we live in our own little bubbles. We stick by our so-called "people" for whatever reason (and I'm not saying that's a bad thing) but, in addition to that, I also want to be a part of an America where people talk and intermarry and where bridges are built and relationships are cultivated ... That's how understanding starts and how learning happens and how acceptance grows. Pocahontas and John Smith figured it out. We can, too. (Maybe a couple hundred copies of the movie can be dropped over the Middle East, too).

     Lesson 3: Maybe Pocahontas was a little young and naive but ... she did show us that maybe, occasionally in life there is love that is worth risking everything for ...

     

Mulan (1998)

     I should just go ahead and post the "Reflection" video here and be done with analyzing the intricacies of Mulan ... But why would I do that? I mean, it does give us one of the main lessons from the movie, which is to learn to love yourself for who you are, which is a lesson that I happen to love so GO MULAN! Everyone, let your reflections show who you are inside!
     Yes, great lesson ... But I actually want to focus on an additional one that Mulan teaches throughout the movie, which is to throw expectation out the window and do what feels right for you. We see the moment Mulan cuts off her hair and puts on that armor, she is making a decision to toss society's expectations for her as a young, Asian woman aside. She doesn't do this for fame or glory or because she thinks she'll meet the man of her dreams ... She does it because she wants to help her family and her father and thinks it's the right thing to do. She's doing it because the decision feels right for her, and that's what makes it so great.

     So there you have you it ... Life lessons learned from Disney movies ... Or at least the ones starring the original Disney Princesses.
     (Oh, and side note, Tinker Bell was actually also considered one of the original Princesses and then was kicked out the club ... So, here's an additional lesson for everyone --- you don't always get the one you want and jealousy is not cute! Sorry Tink but it's true).

     I know that Tiana from The Princess and the Frog, Rupunzel from Tangled, and Merida from Brave have been added as Princesses in the past few years but, honestly, I think the only one I've seen in its entirety has been Tangled so giving lessons from those would just be disrespectful to Disney ... Maybe now I have a reason to actually see Brave.

The past can't be rewritten, you get the life you're given. Oh, some pages turned, some bridges burned, but there were lessons learned. (Lessons Learned, Carrie Underwood)

20-Somethings, Just Listen Up and Live!

     Dear Millennials, Gen-Y-ers, 20-Somethings,

     Do me a favor and listen up ... Because I have a little something to say.

Stop reading advice columns from 20-somethings!

     ... And, yes, this is coming straight from a 20-something about to try and advise you.
     I know some of you are reading this, scratching your heads, and asking why ... and some of you are just thinking this is the rant of a cynical, jaded 20-something who feels the need to tell you what to do with your life just like every other 20-something out there (full disclosure: there may be a little truth to that) ... But the real reason I am writing this is because of one simple reason - those advice columns you love so much - 10 Trips You NEED To Take In Your Twenties, 36 Lessons I Wish I Knew At 25, 47.5 Reasons Your 20-Something Boyfriend Is Not Right For You ... All those advice columns, they're bull.

  
     ... And here's why.
     For one thing, I know that I have probably read hundreds of those "Dear 20-Something" columns and each time I click, I get conflicting advice. One person tells me to take the bull by the horns, another tells me to just sit and wait for life to start because the best things happen to those who wait. WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO? --- My opinion - YOU DO YOU! Don't let some random person writing a column in Kalamazoo, Michigan influence your decisions.
     If you think right now - in your 20's, in this moment - is a good time for you to pack your bags and fly to Brazil and explore the rain-forest, do it! If you think living at home with your parents and applying to 900 graduate programs is right for you, then do that. It's your life, make it about you.
     Second, I don't know when every 20-something in America (and around the globe) decided to go into the fields of relationship and sex therapy ... but it seems to have been in the last few years ... Because so so so many of the advice columns I read tell me what I am doing wrong in my love life (or lack thereof), what I can do better (or worse ... you know, if I want to lose a guy without actually initiating a breakup), what I am doing right, what men like, what women like, what your parents will like in a significant other ...
     SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY! 
     You're 20-something years old. You are at an age where you are able to make mistakes in life and love and bounce back from them! Don't let others tell you how or who to date. Don't let random people typing advice columns into your bedroom. Make your own love stories, hook-up stories, break-up stories! --- If anything, they'll be good conversation pieces later in life ... Or the makings of a great Hollywood movie. Who knows? If you want to try online dating, try it. If you want to bring a random person home every Saturday night until you're 35, do it (be safe, people). Just don't let others tell you that the choices you are making are somehow wrong. Those choices are only wrong when you feel like you need to begin to make new decisions about relationships, and love, and sex.
     Lastly, so many of these columns seem to say something along the lines of, "OH, now I'm 50-years-old and if I only did this or if I only knew this when I was 25 and a half, my life would be so much different." I'm not going to lie, some of the advice in those columns have good takeaways ... But life is life, people. No one knows where your life will go, or the twists and turns it will take. You may get on the subway tomorrow, slip and fall on your face because you decided to wear 6-inch heels, and meet the person of your dreams when he/she helps you up off your face. (Who knew Payless would have a place in your love story?) ... Or you may wake up tomorrow and get a call from your doctor saying you have 3 months to live.
     The point is ... live for today. There are only two days a week when you can't make something happen - yesterday and tomorrow - so live with no regrets ... and I'm not saying it's an easy to do. It's hard! So, so hard. You may lose friends, you may piss off relatives, you may spend some money you don't have right now ... But at least try, so that way you're not sitting around at 50 telling 20-year-olds that if you only did this or that your life would be so different ... Because it's not something they need to hear.

     Love,
     Nazzle Dazzle

I've loved, I've laughed, and cried. I've had my fill, my share of losing, and now as tears subside, I find it all so amusing, to think I did all that and may I say, not in a shy way, oh no, oh no, not me - I did it my way. (My Way, Frank Sinatra)

Are You In A Textlationship?

     ... And, no, I'm not referring to the sexy kind of texting. I mean full-blown relationships ... that just happen to exist via text message. Is it possible for two people to become so close via text message that it almost feels as though that they are in a relationship?

     I am beginning to think that this phenomenon is becoming more and more common in today's social media obsessed, technological world. It's scary to think that people are unaware that they are falling into the trap of the "textlationship" ... So here are some signs that YOU may be in a textlationship and not even know it!

5 Signs You May Be In A Textlationship

1) You met a nice gal or guy, exchanged numbers, then proceeded to flirt, get to know each other, even maybe express love for each other ... all via text ... with continuous promises of meeting up ... straight through your breakup, which inevitably happened via text.

2) You find yourself irritated when your "significant other" does not text you back after several hours ... However, you have not seen said person in weeks and/or months.

3) You know all the essential first-date facts, as well as tons of other info, about your texting partner ... without ever actually having gone on a date.

4) You love telling all your friends about your partner ... but in order to do so, you need to bust out your cell phone to recap a conversation or a funny anecdote involving said person.

5) You've escalated your textlationship to a sextlationship in hopes that an actual relationship would ensue but, alas, the texts just keep coming ... and the dates don't.

      And there you have it ... If any of these five signs apply to you, do yourself a favor, if you genuinely care about the person you are texting, talk to them. NOT TEXT. TALK - face to face - about how you feel. And if they don't understand or reciprocate the feelings and the texts just keep coming, go ahead and click delete!

Gonna find me somebody not afraid to let go. Want a no doubt, be there kind of man. You came real close. But every time you built me up. You only let me down. And everybody knows, almost doesn't count. (Almost Doesn't Count, Brandy)

Together Let Us Seek The Heights

     If you are a consistent reader of this blog, you know that I am an active alumnae member of Alpha Chi Omega sorority - and if you are a member of any Greek-letter organization, you know how much that can mean to a person, so when I woke up yesterday morning to an email from our National Headquarters explaining that my collegiate chapter's charter is being revoked come May, you can imagine the flood of emotion that came over me.
     I cried. I got angry. I wanted someone to blame. But it was whirlwind and I didn't know where to look. The collegiate members are not to blame. The alumnae are not to blame. If anything, I'd say that the women running the show are to blame. I truly believe that once these women make it to HQ, they forget what it means to be a member of the sisterhood. And, I don't care if they don't like what I have to say - it's true, at least in my mind.
     I am heartbroken at the news that my sorority will not be represented on the Rutgers campus come Fall 2013. I am especially saddened for those sisters still active who will not be able to finish out their years as a collegiate members. The friendships I gained while a collegiate member will last a lifetime and I have AXO to thank for that, and I wish that the current sisters got the same full experience, ending at graduation, that I did.

     So, despite what the reasoning may be for revoking for Theta Tau charter, know that through it all, Theta Tau is a true sisterhood. It is not one person or one pledge class. It is not a little green house on the corner of Union Street. It is not a specific class year or a specific family tree within the sisterhood. Alpha Chi Omega, Theta Tau is nearly 25 years of women who have grown as a result of love and friendship. It is nearly 25 years of philanthropic efforts bettering the Rutgers community, the surrounding New Brunswick and Piscataway communities, and the country, at large. Alpha Chi Omega, Theta Tau is nearly 25 years of Real Strong Women. And we live to show that everyday.

If you ever lose your way, you don't have to be afraid. Look inside to find a friend who will be with you 'til the end. Many different roads to choose, searching for the strength to make it through, but it was always there in you. (Always There In You, Valli Girls)

They're Going To The Chapel ... Or Getting A Ring ... Or Having A Baby ...

     I recently returned from a destination wedding of a friend ...

     And before that I had five weddings in the month of June.

     Let's not count the number of engagements that happened in between the weddings ... or the list of people having babies ... or moving in with their significant others ... It's gotten to the point of no return. It's gotten to the point where I cannot sign onto Facebook without seeing another hand-over-hand, shiny engagement ring finger picture thing or sonogram that I feel the need to congratulate people on ... It's getting a little crazy.
     And I know I'm at the age where this is going to happen ...
     Let's face it ... mid-twenties ... It's like people begin to pair off and find their own special spot in the wild.

     But can't they keep it to themselves so that the rest of us ... the ones just chillin' ... trying to get our lives together and find jobs and scrape together enough money to pay car payments and buy Ramen don't need to be consistently reminded of the fact that we are doing it alone.

     I mean I can take solace in the fact that I have a whole freakin' savanna to search and meet potentials ... while the others are stuck with their one and only ... But other times it might be nice to have that one and only, so quit reminding us gazelles of it.

If we could talk with the animals, learn their languages, maybe take an animal degree. We'd study elephant and eagle, buffalo and beagle, alligator, guinea pig, and flea. (Talk To The Animals, Bing Crosby)

The One Thing You Can Rely On When New Year's Day Rolls Around ...

The New Year's Eve Induced Hangover!

     Considering we can't rely on the Mayans to get things right ... or our resolutions to get fulfilled this year (because let's face it ... they probably won't) ... there aren't a lot of things that you can count on when the New Year rolls around, but I assume there is one thing that will never let people down ... and that is the New Year's Eve Induced Hangover.

     Last night a couple of friends and I got together to ring in the New Year. We had a hearty evening of playing Pictionary-Around-The-World, Hungry Hungry Hippos (I swear that game is rigged for the green Hippo to win ... Just saying!), and Apples to Apples (Helen Keller always wins) ... Yes, I know, we go hard.

     We also watched Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve special (OMG ... Justin Bieber covered the Beatles with Carlos Santana! So my world was considerably rocked! Anyone else's!?!?!? HUH HUH?!!) and I noticed something watching it ... People were freakin' sloshed.

     As far as I knew, drinking on the streets of Manhattan was illegal ... but I definitely saw the camera scan over loads of people loading themselves up on bottles of champagne and other fun drinkity drinks that they could, presumably, sneak in and hide from the hundreds of NYPD cops lining the streets ... and hanging out with Lady Gaga.

Photo c/o www.billboard.com

     On a less humorous note, as I drove home ... it was kind of sad to see the number of people pulled over by cops ...  and the number of cars that were in accidents. I'm taking an educated guess and saying a good number of those were alcohol-induced issues. Totally not smart on the part of the driver ... As we all know, you are not only risking your own life ... but MY life ... and the lives of everyone else on the road who are just trying to drive home and live to see next year (if the Mayans aren't right about the whole world-ending-at-the-end-of-2012 thing).

     So, anyway, for those of you that I saw on TV swaying back and forth ... not to the rockin' music of Gaga and Bieber but just because you couldn't stand straight ... and for those that couldn't drive within the designated lanes on the highway early this morning ... Although nothing is set is stone for the rest of 2012, I'm almost positive about one thing ... Grab yourself a bottle of water, three Advil, and some carbs ... because this morning won't be your best.

Happy New Year!

Bottles poppin' 'til we can't stand. We keep it rocking 'til 6 am. New York to London over to Japan. Turn it up, turn it up, mash it up. We gonna party like, party like, like it's the end of the world. We gonna party like, like it's 2012. You know that it doesn't matter as long as we got each other. Turn it up, turn it up, mash it up. It ain't the end of the world. [2012 (It Ain't The End) - Jay Sean ft. Nicki Minaj]

Life Is Not An Emergency

     Last Thursday night the MCIS Graduate Student Association hosted a talk with Tim Pernetti, the Director of Intercollegiate Athletics at Rutgers University.
     Although Pernetti's talk made a slew of amazing points, his talk focused on the importance of communication and the building of relationships throughout one's career and one's life in general.
     Pernetti also mentioned something that really struck me. In a moment of somewhat craziness at a point in his earlier life, his wife sent him a text saying, "Life is not an emergency." Pernetti said he saved that text in that phone for as long as he kept it, and tried to look at it everyday (even though he wasn't sure what she meant by it).
     Even if Pernetti wasn't sure what his wife meant by it ... I know what I can take away from it ... So get ready for a longggg entry!
   
     I have been acting as if I need to have everything figured out right now. I came out of college hoping for a career in journalism ... But it was the year of the ultimate suckage. 2009. My fellow graduates and I grew up thinking we would leave with all the opportunity in the world that our amazing institution offered us then the world threw us a major curve ball. I applied for hundreds of jobs. Got tons of rejection letters. Got three interviews. One offer but then life threw me another major curve ball in the form of illness (but that's a whole different story). Long story short, a year went by without any luck. I ended up working at NJ Books in New Brunswick.
     After a while, I decided I would go back to for graduate school - something I had always considered but didn't know where or when. I applied to several programs and got accepted to four programs. In the end it came down to Rutgers and Villanova. I visited Villanova and although I liked it, and the program looked really great ... I didn't have it in my heart to leave the place that offered me so many opportunities, and gave me so many memories, and helped cultivate relationships that will last a lifetime ... So I went with Rutgers.

     Last semester, after taking some classes on Communication and thinking about my past experiences at Rutgers as an undergraduate, I have realized where my passions lie and what I want to really do with my life. Although journalism is still a love of mine, as is writing (hence this blog), I realized that I love working with students. I started substitute teaching, and although I love being in the classroom, I really love working with college students. I did it all through my undergraduate years and want to do it continuously ...
     But now people are telling me I picked the wrong Master's program. They are telling me I should have mastered in Student Affairs, and maybe they have a point. But, on the other hand, I looked into a couple of those programs ... and looked into those classes, and I honestly didn't think it was worth it ... "Introduction to Working With Students" ... Done. "Student Leadership" ... Done. "Psychology of Learning." ... Done. (I was a Psych minor!) ... Seriously! Who needs a piece of paper they worked a year-and-a-half, two years for telling them they have the ability to work with students when I have four years experience doing it?!
    I worked with the Off-Campus Students' Association for three and a half years, two of those as their treasurer and community service representative and one as their vice-president. I spent that time mentoring off-campus and commuter students and planning events for them and I enjoyed every minute of it. I met some of my best friends through that organization. I saw couples meet and marry through that organization. It was one of the best experiences I had in college. I also was involved with New Student Orientation. I served as an Orientation Leader for a year and as an Orientation Team Leader for another year. That had to be the one of the best things I ever did at Rutgers. I was able to meet amazing people, but also realized that working with new students was one of the most rewarding experiences and one of the most fun experiences ever. I loved planning the orientation and enacting the plans afterward. I loved helping the students and parents understand the workings of this large institution and telling them why I loved it. In a way it was like marketing. As an Orientation Team Leader, I loved leading my team of OL's and helping them help the new students. That was just as rewarding.

Off-Campus Students' Association Annual Halloween Party, 2007

     In addition to those two amazing programs, I also got involved with Greek Life on campus. I met an amazing woman in one of my classes junior year who asked me to come out to a recruitment event at Alpha Chi Omega. I got a bid that night (went through formal recruitment) decided AXO was the place for me, and the rest is history! I am still an active alumni and I love going back to help the chapter and mentor the younger girls there. I want to see the chapter be the best it can be and grow to their best potential.

Alpha Chi Omega, Dance Marathon 2010

     Those were not the only activities I was involved with as an undergrad. I also wrote for The Daily Targum and was a member of Circle K International, and Rutgers Big Buddy. I loved visiting my Little Buddy, Jose, at the elementary school.
     I think it's clear that I have a firm foundation working with students and even though people are consistently telling me I am in the wrong program ... and telling me that I should stick with journalism ... And even though I have applied for dozens of jobs at Rutgers and have failed miserably at several interviews (I have a phobia of those things!) ... and have gotten a couple of rejection letters ... and have gotten a dozen people ignore my resume ... and have people tell me I am too overqualified for some jobs ... and have some people tell me I am too under-qualified for other jobs ... I realized that "Life is not an emergency."
     And, one day, I don't know how ... But I will get a job working in this field. I may have to start out small. Maybe at a community college. Maybe sweeping floors at Rutgers (I'm apparently overqualified ... But shouldn't I decide that?!) But one day, I will make it. Maybe not now. Maybe not tomorrow or next week or next year. But one day ... I will work in this field with students because that's what I want to do and that's what I am passionate about and that's what my heart is set on. But right now ... I'm just going to slow down and take it easy and worry about making it to the end of the semester and worry about tomorrow when it gets here. Because that just makes like a whole lot easier.

"Wake up in the morning, get to living my life, making sure that I'm all that I can be ... So now I'm slowing it down and I'm looking around and I'm lovin' this town and I'm doing all right, Ain't worried about nothin' except for the man I wanna be ..." (Roll With Me - Montgomery Gentry)

The Profundity of 7th Graders ... Who Knew?

     I was subbing for a 7th grade English class yesterday and each class was beginning a new book. One class was beginning Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson and another was beginning Friedrich by Hans Peter Richter (neither of which I have read ... yepppp, great English major right here).
     Before reading the books, each class did some pre-reading activities - talking about the themes of the novels and whatnot ... And let me tell you, these seventh graders had some interesting answers for the questions asked.
     When we we started talking about Treasure Island, one of the main themes is growing up so one of the essential questions posed is "What marks the difference between childhood and adulthood?" ... Meaning is there a definitive moment when you can say 'Here, you're a child. Here, you're an adult.'

     I smiled a little when I read the question because all kinds of things went through my head being where I am in life, and then thinking back to what it was like in 7th grade (hell).
     So we began the discussion and I was surprised at the answers given ... It went something like this ...

     "Like behavior!?" 
     "Well, when you say behavior. What kinds of behavior do you mean?"
     "Like, you're mature and respectful and stuff. Like if you're rude and mean, you're a kid. And if you're acting like an adult and being proper, then you've become an adult."
     "Okay, so acting like an 'adult' ... That's one way to look at the difference."

     "Adults have really big responsibilities so once you have those, you're not a kid anymore."
     "So taking on adult responsibilities. So meaning when you start having to what? Pay bills? Take care of family? Things like that?"
     "Yeah, when you need to start taking care of those things yourself and you don't really rely on others to do them all for you all the time."


     All good answers ... But then the shining light of answers for the definitive moment when a child becomes an adult ...

     "I think it's individual. I don't think you can ever really know. Like [insert random hip-hop artist here] needed to be an adult when he was like 15 because he was on his own, living by himself. But [insert other random hip-hop artist], he's older, like 30, and he still acts like a kid all the time. So I think it's really an individual thing. I don't think you ever really need to be one or the other. I think you can always keep the kid side of you with you even when you're an adult and take it out when you want to."
     "I think you are absolutely right. I think that it is an individual thing. I don't think that there's ever a real age when you can say someone is an adult. The law says 18 but that doesn't necessarily apply to everyone, and it's true, everyone can act like a kid sometimes, as long as they know when it's appropriate."

     The other class was beginning the novel Friedrich ... and that conversation was not as light-hearted. We began talking about the Holocaust and asking what the class knew about it. Generally the answers fell into the realm of "Hitler started it, there were Nazis, there was a war, concentration camps were there, Poland was involved [I'm not sure why, but each class which was covering the novel mentioned Poland ... no other country], Hitler killed the Jews [only one kid mentioned that he thought that maybe Hitler might have killed Blacks too ... schools really need to focus on the fact that not only Jews were killed during the Holocaust], and some other general facts. 

     After that, we moved onto a pre-reading activity based on the themes of the novel and this is where it got back to the light-heartedness of the day ... We went back to focusing on main ideas and themes in literature and one theme throughout the novel happens to be friendship.

     So, three questions were asked of the class. The first being "What makes a good friend?" and here are some of the 7th grade answers for that wonderful question.

     "Someone who has yo' back!"

     "Someone who keeps your secrets!"

     "Someone who won't get you in trouble."

     "A person who hangs out with you 24/7 and doesn't annoy you." (props to this kid)

     "Someone you can trust."

     "A person who is loyal."

     After asking that question, we moved onto the opposite - "What makes someone a bad friend?" ... This is where the claws came out!

CAT FIGHT!

     "Someone who starts rumors about you!"

     "A person who STEALS YOUR BOYFRIEND!"

     "Someone who drinks [is a bad choice in a friend]."

     "Someone who steals your money."

     "Someone who lies to you."

     The last question was "How do you make someone your friend?" ... And this is where I realized I am a giant Communication nerd because all my Interpersonal Communication information began flowing through my head ... yet these kids made it so simple.

     "Give them your number."

     "Play a sport with them."

     "Hang out with them."

     "Talk to them."

     "Invite them over your house."

     So those are the wise words of 7th graders that I heard as I subbed yesterday ... Sometimes my job makes me smile, even if I do need to yell from time to time. Usually in middle school. They just don't shut the heck up ... even when they are being profound.

Alpha Chi Omega Are Real. Strong. Women.

Today marks day one of Alpha Chi Omega's National Ritual Celebration Week, and I hadn't planned on it but I am going to use this entry to reflect a little bit on my time as an Alpha Chi because it is a part of who I am today, who I was in a slew of my yesterdays, and a part of who I will be forever ... and I truly believe that.

I was initiated into Alpha Chi in April of 2008 and it has been an amazing three years since. I have met some of the smartest, most caring women the world has yet to encounter and I am blessed to call them my friends and even luckier to call them my sisters. These women have been with me through the good and the bad. They have stood by my side when I felt like the world was crashing down on me and when I thought all hope was lost. They brought back memories of good times (literally!). They have also been with me to celebrate my happiest moments and to party with me when partying was due.

I am amazed at how each Alpha Chi woman I meet, no matter for how long ... be it since the day I signed my bid card or for a five-minute conversation ... has touched me in some way by their character and their charisma. And this does not go for just members of my chapter. This goes for the members I have met from outside of my chapter. This goes for the excited-chipper-50-somewhat-Southern-Belle I met on a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean who introduced herself to me when she saw my letters or the hoping-to-recover/soon-to-be teacher I met at a cognitive rehabilitation center. I feel as if every woman I meet is a Real. Strong. Woman. just trying to live up to Alpha Chi's Symphony and, yes, I know it's not always easy. And, yes, I know we all slip up. And, yes, I know sometimes we are all a big hot mess. But that's okay. That's why we have each other ... To pick each other up and brush each other off.

To all my Alpha Chi's out there, use this week to reflect back on your time as an Alpha Chi. Use it to share those Alpha Chi stories you know will have others rolling on the floor (okay, well maybe they had to be there ...) Call a sister you haven't talked to in a while ... They will appreciate it. Send your Big or Little some carnations and a card ... It's the little things, remember?

Oh, and a little plug here, National Panhellenic's International Badge Day is March 7, so pull out that pin attire and wear that Lyre Badge with pride and show the world why Alpha Chi Omega are Real. Strong. Women. 

Loyally,

Grad Girl