What's Wrong With The World Today - Any Newfangled Trend Kids Come Up With

     Let me paint you a little picture here ... assuming you're in your mid-twenties, early-thirties and we grew up in the same kind of suburban Desperate Housewives neighborhoods ...

     You're back in middle school and sniffing markers is the coolest new trend (if you weren't snorting pixie stix in the bathroom) ... You remember, right? You feel like a total badass whenever you took a whiff.
     It's every kid's gateway drug into huffing paint and glue. 

     Ahhhh, those were the days ... Not that I was a huffer or anything ... I mean, I did enjoy the occasional whiff of a Mr. Sketch every once in a while but I mean, honestly, who didn't!?

     Once middle school ended and we moved onto high school, if we didn't take the actual drug route, most of us were too busy trying to find ourselves and too busy with shitty high school drama to make up new, crazy trends. But, it seems like today, every time you turn on the TV, kids are doing something insane and weird that any normal individual would think absurd ... 

     Part of me thinks it's because they have too much time of their hands because everything is computerized and technological for them but that's another story for another day. So, in their free time ... they do things like this ...

Trend One: The Choking Game

     This "game" involves basically cutting off the oxygen to one's brain in order to either faint or get a short feeling of euphoria. Most cases involve kids choking each other, but there have been cases where kids choke themselves. Kids have been hospitalized, suffered brain damage, and died as a result of this game. Crazy shit.

Trend Two: Vodka Tampons and Butt Beer

     This one simply blew me away ... and was actually the inspiration for this blog post ... so thank you to the genius behind this little act of idiocy.

     Teen girls have been soaking tampons in vodka and then doing the obvious ... I mean, DUHHHH, what else would you do with a vodka-filled tampon? ... They are inserting them into their vagina so that the alcohol is absorbed directly into their blood streams. Teenage boys are inserting the tampons into their rectums. Apparently, a lot of teens seem to think that because they are not drinking the alcohol, they will beat a breathalyzer test.

     On top of this - to go one stupid, gross step further ... teens (and I am generalizing this to teens because I hope that no one older is stupid enough to be doing this shit ... or younger is being exposed to it) are funneling beer straight into their anus using a beer bong. WTFFFFFF!!!!!

     Couldn't they just sniff some markers? ... This is enough for me to want to lock up my potential, hypothetical future children in a closet for all of their teenage years and let them out when they are eighteen ... even if it means they will have to be a little socially awkward for a while - middle school years are awkward anyway.

     If I scared even one parent into talking to their kid about not putting a rope around their neck or putting beer in their butt, my job here is done.

Bring your friends. It's fun to lose and to pretend. She's overboard and self-assured. Oh no, I know. A dirty word ... With the lights out, it's less dangerous. Here we are now, entertain us. I feel stupid and contagious. Here we are now. Entertain us. (Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana)

Side Note: If you or anyone you know is involved in Choking Game activities and need information or help, visit G.A.S.P., Games Adolescents Shouldn't Play, or the Dangerous Behaviors Foundation. Similarly, if you need information or help about alcohol abuse, visit SAMHSA at 1-800-662-HELP (24/7) to receive free resources and to get referrals for treatment centers in your area.