And That's A Wrap!!

     Ladies and Gentlemen ... I have made it through wedding season and survived with only a few scratches and bruises. Ready for the numbers?

     Six weddings, five dresses, four plane rides, two bachelorette parties, one visit to a foreign country, and an insane amount of hair product later ... and I NOW am ready for one long, macarena-free nap.

     After all that, I am ready to provide you with several tips for surviving your very own wedding season ... Whenever that may come along ...

FLATS!

     This one's for the ladies ... FOR REAL. Do not go to a wedding without comfortable shoes in tow. You can go for the shoeless look ... but some venues are not big on the cleanliness scale and you don't want to leave with some fungal infection.

IF THOU DRINKETH, EAT FOOD!

     People, this sounds like a no-brainer ... But apparently it's not! If you plan on drinking at a wedding, do yourself and everyone else a favor, and eat! Eat before you go and at the cocktail hour and at dinner and during dessert and during the after-party. I'm not saying you need to be a glutton ... I'm just saying you should eat a little every few hours so that you are not drinking on an empty stomach ... because, believe me ... It does not lead to happy outcomes.

SINGLE? ... SO WHAT?

     If you are single during wedding season, don't let that get you down! Own it! If you are invited with a date, bring a friend if someone if free. If you are invited on your own, that's fine too! Put on your best dress or your sleekest suit and get out on the dance floor when the music plays. Talk to the people at your table. ENJOY YOURSELF! It's a time to celebrate the couple! Just have fun!

BUDGET, BUDGET, BUDGET!

     If you have a bunch of weddings come up at one time or within a couple of months of each other, you need to understand that the showers, and bachelor(ette) parties, and weddings will take a giant hit on your wallet ... So don't feel like you need to purchase extravagant gifts or give large sums of money to every couple. Give what you can and move on ... A gift comes from the heart and that should be what matters.

LEAVE THE DRAMA FOR YOUR MAMA

     When friends get married, petty drama may come up ... maybe even more-than-petty drama ... But when family members get married, there's potential for HUGE drama to come to the table ... LISTEN, leave that stuff at home! The day is about the couple ... not about how your Aunt Lilly still owes you money or how Cousin Jane stole your boyfriend three years ago and brought him to the wedding today. Just leave all that stuff at the door ... and deal with it at Thanksgiving like everyone else!

     I could go on forever with more ways to survive wedding season (find a dress you can wear more than once ...) but I'm not going to ... Because I'm sure you can do it on your own. I have faith in you! Now go out and conquer that wedding world!

Going to the chapel and we're gonna get married, going to the chapel and we're gonna get married. Gee, I really love you and we're gonna get married going to the chapel of love. (Going To The Chapel Of Love, The Shirelles)

Why I Just Can't With Halloween Anymore

     So, I am about to drop some unpopular opinion on you right now ... This 27-year-old just can't with Halloween anymore ... and here's why ... in convenient list form (which I know you've come to appreciate).

1) October tends to be cold. Costumes tend to be tiny ... Like this one.

*** Side note: This girl will definitely get ebola ***

2) I don't have the time ... or the energy ... to go to a butt-load of parties. Actually, let's be honest, I'm not invited to a butt-load of parties anymore.

3) I want people to give me candy for free all the time. Come to think of it, I want people to give me lots of things for free when I ask for it. How about booze, clothes ... How about someone just hands me a full time job when I ask for it! Yeah, give me all that ... and candy!

4) Standing in line, in the cold, to get into a crowded bar with sweaty people doesn't sound half as great as sitting pantless on your couch watching "Hocus Pocus."

5) I've already dressed up as Cinderella and Hannah Montana and a witch and a gypsy and a clown ... There is nothing else I want to be ... So why waste my time and my money?

*** Imagine there is an embarrassing picture of me as 

Hannah Montana here that I won't show to anyone ever ***

It's too spooky, too spooky. It's much too spooky for me. I can't look. It's too spooky for me. (Too Spooky For Me, Halloween Song)

Happily Ever After ... With A Cheap Ring

     I don't know about anyone else, but maybe I'm simply at an age where all my friends seem to be getting engaged or married, week after week. This year alone, I will have attended six weddings. SIX! So, like any person, going to all these weddings, and seeing all the beautiful cakes and invitations, has got me thinking about wedding dresses and bouquets and rings.
     And, let's be honest (especially all you ladies reading this), how many times have you looked at one wedding Pinterest board and found yourself in a downward spiral that lasted hours? Personally, I know that I get sucked in and the next thing I know, it's dawn, and I've been blown away by beauty ... and by the price of EVERYTHING. But, there's hope!
     A new study may offer some relief to those who want lasting marriages, and some money left in the bank after planning a wedding.
     According to the study, there are a whole slew of factors that can affect the likelihood your marriage will end in divorce, including income, religious attendance, how long you've dated, the price of the engagement ring, and the price and size of your wedding. While the findings on income, faith, and dating as contributing factors to the longevity of a marriage seem to be almost commonsense, the findings on ring and wedding spending were surprising.

Religious Attendance

C/O Randal Olson

Annual Household Income

C/O Randal Olson

Time Spent Dating Before Proposal

C/O Randal Olson

     When it came to the question of spending ... If you are planning on a happily ever after, I would suggest you shop around for a cheaper ring, and plan for a LARGE AND IN CHARGE, but cheaper wedding.
     The study found that spending over $2,000 on an engagement ring is significantly associated with a higher likelihood of divorce. Additionally, researchers found that couples that had weddings with 200 or more guests were 92% less likely to divorce than the relative average ... but 46% more likely to divorce if they had a wedding which cost more than $20,000. So, I guess you need to go big or go home ... but not spend a whole bundle?

     ... Based on the weddings I've been to lately, that is no easy task ... However, I am sure there is some way to make it happen ... I mean hasn't every Disney movie and love song taught us that love can conquer all? Even a super expensive platinum, three-stone diamond, antique ring ... and a super-elaborate, over-the-top, intimate wedding on a yacht? Right? Right. 

     Someone tell me I'm right (or else all my dreams will be crushed).

You are the one. I think I'm in love. Life has begun. I can see the two of us together. I know I'm gonna be with you forever. Love couldn't be any better. (When You Kiss Me, Shania Twain)

20-Somethings, Just Listen Up and Live!

     Dear Millennials, Gen-Y-ers, 20-Somethings,

     Do me a favor and listen up ... Because I have a little something to say.

Stop reading advice columns from 20-somethings!

     ... And, yes, this is coming straight from a 20-something about to try and advise you.
     I know some of you are reading this, scratching your heads, and asking why ... and some of you are just thinking this is the rant of a cynical, jaded 20-something who feels the need to tell you what to do with your life just like every other 20-something out there (full disclosure: there may be a little truth to that) ... But the real reason I am writing this is because of one simple reason - those advice columns you love so much - 10 Trips You NEED To Take In Your Twenties, 36 Lessons I Wish I Knew At 25, 47.5 Reasons Your 20-Something Boyfriend Is Not Right For You ... All those advice columns, they're bull.

  
     ... And here's why.
     For one thing, I know that I have probably read hundreds of those "Dear 20-Something" columns and each time I click, I get conflicting advice. One person tells me to take the bull by the horns, another tells me to just sit and wait for life to start because the best things happen to those who wait. WHAT TO DO? WHAT TO DO? --- My opinion - YOU DO YOU! Don't let some random person writing a column in Kalamazoo, Michigan influence your decisions.
     If you think right now - in your 20's, in this moment - is a good time for you to pack your bags and fly to Brazil and explore the rain-forest, do it! If you think living at home with your parents and applying to 900 graduate programs is right for you, then do that. It's your life, make it about you.
     Second, I don't know when every 20-something in America (and around the globe) decided to go into the fields of relationship and sex therapy ... but it seems to have been in the last few years ... Because so so so many of the advice columns I read tell me what I am doing wrong in my love life (or lack thereof), what I can do better (or worse ... you know, if I want to lose a guy without actually initiating a breakup), what I am doing right, what men like, what women like, what your parents will like in a significant other ...
     SERIOUSLY? SERIOUSLY! 
     You're 20-something years old. You are at an age where you are able to make mistakes in life and love and bounce back from them! Don't let others tell you how or who to date. Don't let random people typing advice columns into your bedroom. Make your own love stories, hook-up stories, break-up stories! --- If anything, they'll be good conversation pieces later in life ... Or the makings of a great Hollywood movie. Who knows? If you want to try online dating, try it. If you want to bring a random person home every Saturday night until you're 35, do it (be safe, people). Just don't let others tell you that the choices you are making are somehow wrong. Those choices are only wrong when you feel like you need to begin to make new decisions about relationships, and love, and sex.
     Lastly, so many of these columns seem to say something along the lines of, "OH, now I'm 50-years-old and if I only did this or if I only knew this when I was 25 and a half, my life would be so much different." I'm not going to lie, some of the advice in those columns have good takeaways ... But life is life, people. No one knows where your life will go, or the twists and turns it will take. You may get on the subway tomorrow, slip and fall on your face because you decided to wear 6-inch heels, and meet the person of your dreams when he/she helps you up off your face. (Who knew Payless would have a place in your love story?) ... Or you may wake up tomorrow and get a call from your doctor saying you have 3 months to live.
     The point is ... live for today. There are only two days a week when you can't make something happen - yesterday and tomorrow - so live with no regrets ... and I'm not saying it's an easy to do. It's hard! So, so hard. You may lose friends, you may piss off relatives, you may spend some money you don't have right now ... But at least try, so that way you're not sitting around at 50 telling 20-year-olds that if you only did this or that your life would be so different ... Because it's not something they need to hear.

     Love,
     Nazzle Dazzle

I've loved, I've laughed, and cried. I've had my fill, my share of losing, and now as tears subside, I find it all so amusing, to think I did all that and may I say, not in a shy way, oh no, oh no, not me - I did it my way. (My Way, Frank Sinatra)

Kamala Khan: American. Muslim. Jersey Girl. Superhero.

     This coming February, Marvel Comics will be releasing a series featuring what seems to be your average teenage Muslim Jersey girl juggling school, family, and friends ... However, Kamala Khan is not just your average girl ... She is a shape-shifting superhero!
     Kamala, whose family is from Pakistan, faces so many of the same issues that first generation kids face in this country (not to say I am speaking from experience or anything). According to The New York Times, Kamala - who goes by the name Ms. Marvel - has a super conservative brother, a paranoid mother, and an overbearing father. (For all I know, this character could be based on any number of people I knew growing up ... I could be Ms. Marvel!)
     On top of trying to keep her family life in order while being a 16-year-old girl, Kamala fights villains. Personally, she will need superhero powers just to pull that off because just being a teenager is hard enough!
  

Photo c/o www.huffingtonpost.com

     I am not an avid reader of comics by any means but I might give this one a try because I think the story described has a little more depth than others I've heard in the past AND, additionally we all know that Jersey girls know how to kick ass and take names better than the rest - so why wouldn't I!

I'm more than a bird. I'm more than a plane. I'm more than some pretty face beside a train and it's not easy to be me. I wish that I could cry, fall upon my knees, find a way to lie about a home I'll never see. [Superman (It's Not Easy), Five for Fighting]

Want Some Cheese With That Whine ... As You Ruin 140 Years Of Rutgers Tradition?!

     Rutgers University has officially updated (read as ruined) their 140 year old alma mater by changing the lyrics to be gender neutral ... and I say this as a woman ... a woman who loves the tradition that Rutgers once prided itself in ... and is slowly breaking down each and every one bit by bit.

     If you are reading this, you may very well know that the original lyrics to the first verse of the alma mater went (sing along with me now, students of Rutgers) ---

      My father sent me to Old Rutgers and resolv'd that I should be a man; and so I settled down, in that noisy college town, on the banks of the Old Raritan.

     The lyrics (ridiculously) now go a little something like this ...

     From far and near we came to Rutgers and resolved to learn all that we can; and so we settled down, in that noisy college town, on the banks of the Old Raritan.

     The new lyrics remove the reference to fathers and becoming men ... because students have a mom too or even two daddies or two mommies or no mommies or no daddies or whatever and because Rutgers is now co-ed and people have felt the need to whine and complain over this fact for years ... Because you know changing the lyrics for a select bunch of people is better than holding on to a tradition that a much larger group of others love and appreciate.
     I don't know if these new lyrics will gain any popularity and stick ... But I do know that I will continue to sing the lyrics that I have grown to know and love (and, let's be honest, memorize) over the past almost ten years I have been around Rutgers, and I hope others will too.

My father sent me to Old Rutgers and resolv'd that I should be a man; and so I settled down in that noisy college town, on the banks of the Old Raritan. On the banks of the Old Raritan (my friends), where Rutgers evermore shall stand, for has she not stood since the time of the flood, on the banks of the Old Raritan. (On The Banks Of The Old Raritan, Rutgers Alma Mater)

Are You In A Textlationship?

     ... And, no, I'm not referring to the sexy kind of texting. I mean full-blown relationships ... that just happen to exist via text message. Is it possible for two people to become so close via text message that it almost feels as though that they are in a relationship?

     I am beginning to think that this phenomenon is becoming more and more common in today's social media obsessed, technological world. It's scary to think that people are unaware that they are falling into the trap of the "textlationship" ... So here are some signs that YOU may be in a textlationship and not even know it!

5 Signs You May Be In A Textlationship

1) You met a nice gal or guy, exchanged numbers, then proceeded to flirt, get to know each other, even maybe express love for each other ... all via text ... with continuous promises of meeting up ... straight through your breakup, which inevitably happened via text.

2) You find yourself irritated when your "significant other" does not text you back after several hours ... However, you have not seen said person in weeks and/or months.

3) You know all the essential first-date facts, as well as tons of other info, about your texting partner ... without ever actually having gone on a date.

4) You love telling all your friends about your partner ... but in order to do so, you need to bust out your cell phone to recap a conversation or a funny anecdote involving said person.

5) You've escalated your textlationship to a sextlationship in hopes that an actual relationship would ensue but, alas, the texts just keep coming ... and the dates don't.

      And there you have it ... If any of these five signs apply to you, do yourself a favor, if you genuinely care about the person you are texting, talk to them. NOT TEXT. TALK - face to face - about how you feel. And if they don't understand or reciprocate the feelings and the texts just keep coming, go ahead and click delete!

Gonna find me somebody not afraid to let go. Want a no doubt, be there kind of man. You came real close. But every time you built me up. You only let me down. And everybody knows, almost doesn't count. (Almost Doesn't Count, Brandy)

Crimes Behind The Veil

     Last week, Saudi Arabian masses were introduced to their first ever anti-abuse advertisement ... And it's one of the best advertisements I have ever seen. It features a woman wearing a niqab, and from underneath you can see that she has been given a black eye.
     This ad, which is sponsored by the King Khalid Foundation, helps to shed light on the problem of violence against women in a country where women's rights aren't necessarily a priority. The 2012 Global Gender Gap Report, which ranks countries based on gender disparities, ranked Saudi Arabia 131 out of 135 countries, overall. (Iceland placed first. Yemen placed last. And, if you are wondering, the United States ranked 22, overall).

     Many people have called this the beginning of an anti-domestic-violence campaign, but I beg to differ. The King Khalid Foundation, and the agency behind this ad, went so much further with this advertisement. Although the original ad is in Arabic, having it read "Fighting Women's Abuse Together," crosses all lines, to all relationships - father/daughter, husband/wife, brother/sister ... uncles, bosses, any member of the male sex with (or without authority, really) in Saudi.
     This could be the start of something big in Saudi Arabia. I would assume that a lot of crimes against women go unreported in the country because women are uninformed about where to go to for help. And, as for the people who commit the acts of abuse, they probably think that they are home free because they believe their crimes will never be reported. Well, hopefully this will be the start of a change.

It took a long, long time to get here. It took a brave, brave girl to try. It took one too many excuses, one too many lies. Don't be surprised, don't be surprised if I talk a little louder, if I speak up when you're wrong, if I walk a little taller, I've been under you too long. If you noticed that I'm different, don't take it personally. Don't be mad, it's just the brand new kind of me. That ain't bad, I found a brand new kind of free. (Brand New Me, Alicia Keys)

Deranged DG

         It may be evil but sometimes you just need to have a laugh at another's expense, and today, I just rolled over laughing at the "deranged" sorority email published on Gawker this past week when it was read dramatically by Michael Shannon of "Boardwalk Empire."



      I do feel a little sorry for this girl, but I mean, come on ... Why on Earth would you send this email in the first place ... THINK BEFORE SENDING PEOPLE. Cyberspace is a scary thing. Everything is saved. Everything is available for pretty much forever. Be smart.

Lord, help the mister who comes between me and my sister, and Lord help the sister who comes between me and my man. (Sisters, Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen)

Princeton Undergrads, Marry Each Other. The Rest Of The World Beneath You. Signed, An Old Divorced Lady.

     You've probably already heard about the lonely divorcee, alumna from Princeton who urged Princetonian women to basically marry her sons or men like them while in college because "as a freshman woman, you have four classes of men to choose from [and] every year, you lose the men in the senior class, and you become older than the class of incoming freshman men, so, by the time you are a senior, you basically only have the men in your own class to choose from, and frankly, they now have four classes of women to choose from" ...

    Ummmm, yeah, I don't know about you but I was not particularly concerned about marriage while in college (or now, for that matter). I had my mind on more important things like if I would pass my Dinosaurs class and where the next party I would be attending was happening and if my new rush crush would get a bid to my sorority and pick me as her Big Sister. Yeah, sounds superficial, but, I mean, come on ... Isn't that what most people are thinking about at 20?

     And that isn't even the biggest issue I have with this woman's "advice" to women ... I have a problem with her insinuating that unless you marry (and marry someone who is your "intellectual equal"), you will essentially be a sad, pathetic, lonely mess with no future.
     Yes, intelligence is obviously an important aspect to consider when choosing one's life partner. As it has been said, looks fade (side note - unfortunately Alzheimer's exists, so sometimes your mind fades as well) ... so you do want to be able to spend the rest of your life with someone you can actually talk to on a level playing field ...
     BUT what about those other aspects that are also important in choosing someone to spend the rest of your life with like, I don't know, maybe choosing a man who is kind and warmhearted and funny and who is nice to his mom and likes puppies and/or babies and is not a total and complete douche.
     You cannot measure a man's character by the name of the school on his degree that he has hanging on his wall in his giant mansion on a hill, like Ms. Patton would like you to do ... A man's character is measured in the way he treats the people around him. And the way he treats you. I know plenty of extraordinary men who have graduated from state schools. I know men who have gone to what some people would call "no-name" schools, who are definitely a better catch than some of the Ivy-Leaguers I know. Just putting it out there.
     This woman really needs to take a chill pill and consider how she evaluates the people around her ... and, if Son 1 and Son 2 happen to come across this blog, I apologize for bagging on your Mom. And I feel sorry for you guys because neither of you will be getting a date with anyone, anytime soon.

When somebody needs you, it's no good unless he needs you all the way. Through the good or lean years, and for all the in-between years, come what may. Who knows where the road will lead us, only a fool would say. But if you let me love you, it's for sure I'm gonna love you all the way, all the way. (All The Way, Frank Sinatra)



What's Wrong With The World Today: Bong Hit Baby

     Seriously? I have no words for this one ... Just watch the video.

     Then immediately judge Mama Bear. She's one for the Guiness Book of Worst Parents, if you ask me.



So what we get drunk. So what we smoke weed. We're just having fun, we don't care who sees. So what we go out. That's how it's supposed to be - living young and wild and free. (Young, Wild, and Free, Snoop Dogg & Wiz Khalifa)



Halal-ify Your Nails!?

     Muslim women around the world have been waiting for this day forever ... A "breathable" nail polish, which allows water and air to pass through to the nail bed, is now available for purchase. (If you don't know, this is super exciting because in order to complete prayers, one must complete a washing ritual which involves the washing of the hands ... and in order for that to be complete, the nails also need to be completely bare).
     Inglot Cosmetics has released a line of nail polishes called O2M - standing for oxygen and moisture - because both can pass through ... and the line is not too shabby!

    
     If you have tried O2M, comment below with a review. When I get my hands on some, I will definitely post about it!

Two hands. What are you supposed to do with two hands? To get the life of the richest of man. Where you supposed to go with two hands? (Hands, The Ting Tings)

Rutgers, Remember The Good Old Days Of The Medium?

     If you attended Rutgers prior to 2009, you probably remember the good old days of The Medium, which featured bare breasts and penises galore (on those very special, fun occasions, sometimes you'd even be surprised with a non-human penis). But now, when you open it, there's not a penis in sight - apparently they prefer to go the seriously offensive route with their so-call "satire."
     Now, I generally consider myself a funny person - and I know this article hits close to home - but what The Medium did not take into account when printing the article entitled "Alpha Chi Omega to Shut Down: 'We don't want to be like you ugly bitches' Potential pledges say" is that 1) in order to write an effective satirical piece you need to have your facts right, which they did not, and 2) while it may have been funny to satirize a generalized group of people (in this case, fat people, or ugly people, or whatever nasty thing they want to say), it is not okay to specifically attack actual people at the university. People with friends and classes and names (albeit they changed them). I mean, when they refer to the president of Alpha Chi, did they not realize there is an ACTUAL president of AXO who they were personally attacking that hundreds of people within the Greek community know, as well as others.
     I mean, come on. How stupid is their editorial staff? Did they actually sit down and edit their final draft and think this was a good idea? Did they think there would be no backlash? The article was not only misogynistic and sexist, it was also racist, and attacked the overall character of the women, in question.
     The Greek community at Rutgers is strong and it will always back up any member that is kicked down.
     At least the Greeks that I knew would do it.

I'm not the average girl from your video and I ain't built like a supermodel but I learned to love myself unconditionally because I am a queen. I'm not the average girl from your video. My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes. No matter what I am wearing, I will always be India Arie. (India. Arie, India Arie)

Together Let Us Seek The Heights

     If you are a consistent reader of this blog, you know that I am an active alumnae member of Alpha Chi Omega sorority - and if you are a member of any Greek-letter organization, you know how much that can mean to a person, so when I woke up yesterday morning to an email from our National Headquarters explaining that my collegiate chapter's charter is being revoked come May, you can imagine the flood of emotion that came over me.
     I cried. I got angry. I wanted someone to blame. But it was whirlwind and I didn't know where to look. The collegiate members are not to blame. The alumnae are not to blame. If anything, I'd say that the women running the show are to blame. I truly believe that once these women make it to HQ, they forget what it means to be a member of the sisterhood. And, I don't care if they don't like what I have to say - it's true, at least in my mind.
     I am heartbroken at the news that my sorority will not be represented on the Rutgers campus come Fall 2013. I am especially saddened for those sisters still active who will not be able to finish out their years as a collegiate members. The friendships I gained while a collegiate member will last a lifetime and I have AXO to thank for that, and I wish that the current sisters got the same full experience, ending at graduation, that I did.

     So, despite what the reasoning may be for revoking for Theta Tau charter, know that through it all, Theta Tau is a true sisterhood. It is not one person or one pledge class. It is not a little green house on the corner of Union Street. It is not a specific class year or a specific family tree within the sisterhood. Alpha Chi Omega, Theta Tau is nearly 25 years of women who have grown as a result of love and friendship. It is nearly 25 years of philanthropic efforts bettering the Rutgers community, the surrounding New Brunswick and Piscataway communities, and the country, at large. Alpha Chi Omega, Theta Tau is nearly 25 years of Real Strong Women. And we live to show that everyday.

If you ever lose your way, you don't have to be afraid. Look inside to find a friend who will be with you 'til the end. Many different roads to choose, searching for the strength to make it through, but it was always there in you. (Always There In You, Valli Girls)

Smokin' Twerkin' Teach

     Carly McKinney, the 23-year-old math teacher at Overland High School in Colorado, must be the dumbest teacher on the face of the planet ... with a lot of supportive students.
     Any teacher (any person who works directly with children in any aspect) knows that there are certain aspects of your life that are just not meant for the social media sphere because sooner or later (and most likely sooner), those children will get to seein' them.

     So what inclined this woman to post this online is beyond me ...

c/o Twitter ... @KatiePatrick2

     I get that what she does outside the classroom is her business and all that ... But either way, I mean throw some privacy settings on your accounts. Or better yet, have some better judgement. I thought that once most people even entered the job market, they quickly took down anything slightly scandalous from their social media sites, especially considering the fact that more and more employers are using social media to look for/weed out potential employees.
     Even throwing that aside, this woman needs to understand that as a teacher, as a YOUNG teacher, that she makes a very big impression among the teens she is interacting with day to day. That can easily be seen in the amount of students flocking to their social media sites to support her.

     So, seriously lady ... put on some clothes, put down the joint, and grow the f- up ...

Got it bad, got it bad, got it bad. I'm hot for teacher. (Hot for Teacher, Van Halen)

What's Wrong With The World Today? - Racy Racism ... Or Is It?

     GQ magazine recently released its list of the "100 Hottest Women of the 21st Century" ... despite there still being "987 more years in this particular millennium," according to the article.
     While the list contained some common hot names such as Beyonce, Shakira, Eva Mendes, Halle Berry, and Megan Fox ... There were some surprises on it such as Seth Meyer's celebrity survey choice of Hillary Clinton, about whom he said, "I think somebody who is getting sexier every year is Hillary Clinton. Every year she seems better at whatever she's doing. By the end of the millennium, she's gonna have it locked down."

     However, that was not the real surprise ... Amongst its list, GQ found it appropriate to include the following categories:

     - Hot Chinese Chick: Zhang Ziyi

     - Hot Italian Chick: Monica Belluci

     - Hot Indian Chick: Freida Pinto

     - Hot Pregnant Sri Lankan Chick: M.I.A

     I am at a loss to understand why these women were singled for their nationalities and/or ethnicities on this list of so-called hot women, in the first place. Why weren't Beyonce and Halle Berry listed as "Hot Black Chicks" ... and why wasn't Shakira the "Hot Colombian Chick" or Eva Mendez labeled as the "Hot Latina Chick?" ... 

     OHHHHH, because those some of those might have been considered offensive. I get it. The media gets to sexualize certain women ... But if they think they'll be in hot water for other choices they make, they steer clear of those stupid choices.

     For the record, the hyper-sexualization of any race, nationality, or ethnicity is wrong. If GQ wanted to list the 100 hottest women of this (incomplete) millennium, it should have just listed 100 women straight through - not pulled some out based on their "look."

      

And we read in the gospel of Vogue that we're all supposed to dress and move and be visions of perfection, such a misconception, 'cause the real connection is deeper than the eye can see. What's inside of you? What's inside of me? The hands that made the moon and stars, the mountains and the seas, made you wonderful, beautiful, marvelously. Let the whole world see your true beauty. (True Beauty, Mandisa)

PS. Can you say airbrush?! I mean I know it's winter and everything but ...Beyonce is not that white ... ever. They whitewashed her like woah.

The First Rule Of Fig ... Oh Wait, They Can't Talk

     Three employees from Hands of Our Future daycare center have been arrested ... and released on $10,000 bail ... after they were caught running a baby fight club. Guess those kids didn't get the message ...

     

     No, in all seriousness though, these women were encouraging toddlers to punch and kick each other! In a video that was captured, one child was heard crying and yelling that another child was pinching him, and the response from his "caregiver" was that there was to be no pinching, "only punching."

     WTF. Clearly the three women involved have some real daddy issues or something, or God-forbid, were seriously mistreated as children ... because how on Earth, can you stand there and watch children be physically hurt? It's just not right.

Photo c/o http://philadelphia.cbslocal.com

  

     If you've been reading this blog for some time now, you know that I substitute teach ... and the ages are from pre-school through high school. When I am in a classroom with little ones, I am scared half the time that someone will trip and fall, or hit their head, or cut their finger with a scissor ... It's nerve-wracking! HECK! The same thing goes for the damn high school students who act a'fool half the time climbing on chairs and desks ... Lookin' like their gonna break a leg or something.

     How these women got through days and days of this, I haven't a clue - It's heartless.

I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside. Give them a sense of pride to make it easier. Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be. (Greatest Love of All, Whitney Houston)

Big Time Beauty

     A few posts ago I wrote about the whole YouTube Kate Upton shenanigans and who would have thought that I would be writing about another Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit model within the same month! ... Not me! Especially because I don't really care too much for the magazine, in general ... But when I stumbled upon this article earlier today I was stunned!
     Now I have been following Crystal Renn for years. She's modeled for loads of stores that I have shopped in and I am aware of her consistent up and down weight issues, as well as her battle with anorexia ... AND I worked on a show focused completely around the SI: Swimsuit Edition (heck, I met Kate Upton ... although that photo has never seen the light of day - never pose next to a supermodel ladies ... It never makes you feel good) but I did not even recognize Renn in the photos within the magazine. She has had a complete transformation - to looking generally healthy, not that as a previous "plus-size model" at a size 8 or 10 she didn't look healthy.

     I am happy that Renn seems to have finally taken control of her body and seems to be at a happy and healthy place with herself. The fashion and modeling industry can take a toll on women and it does  not seem like an easy world to navigate so I really do commend her for what she seems to have done here.

We go out to a party somewhere, the moment we walk in the door, people stop and everybody stares. She don't know what they're staring for. She don't know she's beautiful - never crossed her mind. She don't know she's beautiful - no, she's not that kind. She don't know she's beautiful though time and time I've told her so. [She Don't Know (She's Beautiful), Sammy Kershaw]

Too Booby-Licious For YouTube

     Hey All. It's been awhile ... But it's getting down to the wire for me and my thesis is due in ... a week. AHHHHHHH. So I've been crazy busy!!! Research, research, and research. That's all I've been doing ... But I'm taking a few minutes out of my time to comment on this.

     Not the video in general ... But the fact that this past week the video was banned from YouTube for violating its nudity policy. Ummmm ... As far as I can tell, Kate Upton is not naked in this video - damn near close to it, but not naked. The woman is a bikini model what do they expect her to be wearing in most of her videos? She is barely recognizable in clothing.

     There are hundreds of videos on YouTube of women in bikinis dancing that have not been banned - so why her? She's too sexy? Too curvy (don't even get me started on how she's being called the new face of modeling because she's "voluptuous"). It's ridiculous. 

     On Wednesday, YouTube brought the video back with an age restriction ... but apparently that was a mistake too ... because by the end of the day that was gone too. Can we cool it with the double standards here? Yes, the woman has boobs. Yes, they are jiggling around. Yes, she is famous. How does that make her naked - because last time I checked if you are violating a nudity policy ... I'd assume you'd have to be naked.

I don't think your ready for this jelly. I don't think your ready for this jelly. I don't think for this. Is my body too bootylicious for ya, baby? (Bootylicious, Destiny's Child)

A Woman Who Knows What She Wants ...

     Now I don't condone domestic violence of any kind ... not against women, not against children, and not against men ... But, seriously, this story did get a little chuckle out of me when I read it ... Not even gonna lie.
     Inez Nunez, a woman in Coral Springs, Florida was apparently arrested on Tuesday, April 3 when police were called to her home for a domestic violence dispute ... and the story goes a little something like this.

 
     Nunez told police that she had been living with her boyfriend since October 2011 and on that fateful morning of April 3 he decided to call her "ugly" and because of that would not have sex with her. After that, Nunez proceeded to slap her boyfriend in the face and push him around.
     According to NBC Miami, she told police that he also choked her and punched her in the chest but her story was inconsistent and changed frequently. Nunez was arrested and booked, then released on $2,500 bond.
     I wonder who paid the bail money ... Was it her boyfriend? Because that would make this all the more entertaining. Because if he paid out $2,500 of his own money, he doesn't owe her anything else, and she can't ask for any other favors, if you know what I'm saying ... And who knows, if she would have stayed in jail, maybe she would have met a nice guy who would have made all her, ahem, dreams come true.

Baby, you and me been getting along for way too long. Life's been a bed of roses and sweet, sweet song. I know I should not complain. This is gonna sound insane, but let's fight. Let's cuss, get mad, throw stuff, maybe call each other names. Slam doors, break glass. I'll leave, come back, and I'll take all the blame. Let's scream, let's shout. Make up, make out. Baby, just for tonight, let's fight. (Let's Fight, Thompson Square)